Five feet Six

The other day I chanced upon hearing a very old favourite of mine – Words by Ronan Keating, as a ringtone in a female colleague’s phone. Regardless to say, I had quite grown out of Ronan, Backstreet and their boy-band brotherhood a long time back. It is the age of rap, house, alter, metal, progressive and punk rock and I am neck deep into it. But something lingered on just as she took the call. Its only words, and words that all I have to take your heart away. It suddenly struck a chord somewhere. Really, what about the people only with a few lovelorn words to say, fragmented and out of sync mostly, not at all with the great suaveness and panache as in the latest James Bond flick? What about those who don’t have a guitar slung to their shoulders with a day old stubble, who cannot croon to the starry eyed women at SPE, with a Calrsberg in one hand, and the beau’s fingers in the other? What about them who cannot play a piano, high on weed all night long, while charming a friend sleeping over at his place, with a wanton desire of something a little more exciting than sleep? What about those men, who are just plain ordinary and simple, having no other extra talents to flaunt than the regular, decaf guy next door? What about those guys are plain available, and just hopelessly in love, and just cannot go without not giving the regular call everyday to his sweetheart, with the simple pretence of discussing some out-of-the way topic, just to beat around the bush, before blurting out one simple, silly compliment, or a silent, hushed “It would be great if you were here” or “I missed you yesterday while watching Harry and Sally”? Are they not eligible for love, for care, for momentary lapses of reason, for small trinkets of soft touch, or at least, for a goodnight SMS?

Intangible as love is, I seem to have finally discovered the yardstick (maybe even quite late!). It’s called difference, how unique you can be from the plain, unremarkable, unattractive, untalented version of Boy 101. Its all about your guitar pick, your joints and how you crush the weed, how many more pegs you can soak up and yet be deft enough to satisfy the moments of lust that she needs from you, its about the goatee, the piece of metal sticking out of your right eyebrow, the smooth jives at the dance floor and the suave nonchalance of midnight serenades, the moments of envy rising out of the time partitioned for other women and on a rarer scenario, the self-help-book-mugged philosophical rantings. And of course, the perennial six pack abs and day-old stubble would give you the necessary brownie points if you miss out on some of the points above. That’s how you take your love to greater heights; maybe even a six feet two.

…

That’s where I start. At five feet six.

Here without you

I guess I'll just wait. Wait n watch. And stop cribbing about the past, as for that matter, even the present and the future.
I hope you'll just be there for me. Seeing me through.

The Reason

Is there really a reason? Do I really need one? What if the real reason is that its unreasonable enough to go about in the dark, trying to grope into the cluttered walls with old paintings and sepia-toned frames,with the spiders just waiting for its prey to land; and amidst the clutter, your torch suddenly flashes past by the tin soldier that you lost when you were a kid, and frantically searched for it till the last teardrop left its trail of saltdust over your cheeks? The reason is not what I care for, its the uncanny state of not finding one which enchants me.

A cake with butter-paper sticking to its side.Thats reason enough for me.

Purno das Baul

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Best Original Song for "Falling Slowly" from the film "Once" - the 80th Annual Academy Awards

Lyrics | Falling Slowly lyrics

I've Learned

I've learned
that no matter what happens,
or how bad it seems
today, life does go on, and it will be better
tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about
a person by the way he/she handles these
three things:
a rainy day, lost luggage, and
tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that regardless of your
relationship with your parents,
you'll miss them when they're gone from
your life.

I've learned that making a "living" is not
the same thing as making
a "life."

I've learned that life sometimes gives you
a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through
life with a catcher's mitt on both hands.

You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness,
it will elude you. But if you focus on your
family, your friends, the needs of others, your
work and doing the very best you can,
happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide
something with an open heart,
I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I
don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day you should
reach out and touch someone. People
love that human touch - holding hands,
a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to
learn.

I've learned that people will forget what
you said, people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made
them feel.

~Anonymous

Renegade

Simple, the good life ain't so good after all...
Someday,somewhere.....it might get into the quiet plaintive addiction of searching endlessly for it...
And it may never appear.

Truths unfolding...

The judgment day,again.The day of realization has come again.The day has come again to sort the flowery chaff,the polished varnish of the dire truths.After much contemplation I have decided to stop thinking about you and dream my extravagant dreams. After the fete, I’ve finally realized that our relationship is going nowhere. The word ‘relationship’ is itself a misnomer;we had never anything between us. Yes,I would never deny that I loved you once, I had craved for you once,I had tried to possess you once against all hopes,all logic,all judgment and against my physical and mental betterment, and I had once even firmly and most soundly believed that nothing can part us in the long run,but that ‘once’ is not now. Things have changed,times have changed,conditions have changed and with them I’ve have changed too,as the rule of life is to change from one phase to another. There are other factors too. Firstly,I am tired of this one sided,frustrating,dejecting,painful,illusionary dreams,and I find no point in ruining myself in an impossible dream,a wild goose chase. Secondly,my peer pressure is now in its zenith,and my father has nearly gone crazy apprehending about my future. He is now mercilessly torturing me to give up all I love;food,music(without which I truly cannot exist),friends, ‘adda’;and to eternally pursue my academics like a mechanical zombie. I’ve tried to make him realize that I cannot do without a little excitement in my life, and I’m not that kind of a study-geek I used to be,but all in vain. I just cannot manage so much pressure in my life,neither I think can any 18 year old can manage. And finally, I’m not the type of person for you,either as a friend,since I could never be your friend,neither fill its position as a friend should. There are certain clauses for a friendship to develop. Friends can tell each other everything without any hesitation they can argue,fight and then make up on a subject. They can be good to you without reason and can also be rude to you at times. They can share each others innermost secrets,and can complain to you on anything. Such are good friends. And neither you nor me can fulfill these terms. And like love friendship is also mutual;if one cannot fulfill its needs,it cannot work out. I could never be your friend, ever give you any advice or help,since when talking with you a very different part of me plays in my mind,which only wants to talk and hear uselessly to you. Nor can any kind of relationship between us. We are poles apart,both in attitude and personality. I’m cool-headed(though the quality is nulled whenever I speak to you!), I’m an analytic,I give every piece of work that I do a logical justification and reasoning,I think twice before I undertake any decision,I’m methodical,humble and I treat my fellows as beings whose every words and actions should be respected, even if it might sound absurd to my reasoning. I freely discuss my problems in my circle, and I’m never ashamed to admit when I’m wrong,neither am I ashamed to point out others mistakes. I like to leave some aspects of my life to chance, and I accept that what comes to me as something good and helpful. And yes, I can provide effective solutions to problems and can can comfort people when I want to. I don’t really know how many true friends I have,and how many like me or despise me,but this is what I really am. I never tell these sort of things to everybody cause I hate to publicize. And I believe that each person in this world possess some quality or the other which the people around him doesn't, and that possession should make him proud and un-inferior even in the company of the elites. But I wouldn't mention your faults and failings,you already know what they are. And if you feel that you are too good and superior to have any faults,its high time to start finding them out. I can give you a starting push. You are proud,arrogant,obstinate and impulsive,you cannot see beyond a person’s superficial image,and you think that the loss of D_ in your life is the biggest loss possible,and you yourself try not to grow out of it. You are immature and cannot make out the goods from the bads. You are whimsical and temperamental and do not know where to stop or limit yourself. Independence is necessary,but without that fine line of difference between independence and stupidity, you would get lost forever. Here I could point to some of my own cons,but I know all of them so why bother? But before saying sionara, there are three things I always wanted you to know. Firstly ,you had once asked me what do I find in you. I don’t remember what I mumbled casually, but the fact that you were so contrary to me made you appealing. You are so not me, so different from my true self was what I loved,craved for and desired. Maybe that’s why they say controversy makes a pair. Secondly there is no other woman in my life because of whom I am drifting away from you. There were never any other women by far, but someday I earnestly wish that there would be some one who can show me,want me and crave for me just as I had once wanted a girl. And for the grand finale, you were the first person I had ever loved, the first to excruciate such tumultuous emotions and the one who had reincarnated my life. I would always remember you and love you even that we are taking our own separate ways. I came to know that you never look back upon a person that you once forsake, all I want to tell that even I have got the same trait. Well I was a beginner, but my luck didnt favour for me.
Adios.

Catharsis I hate;logical justification I have...

A close encounter with the Fairer Kind

There are things which cannot be expressed in words. These words give much pain, agony and contempt to the speaker when tried to be uttered. They are best expressed in lines. The words which are now being written could have never been told to you by me. Yet everyday from that special day I tried to convey them to you. These words haunt me day and night, at work and at rest, at the present and through the past and I know it will haunt me forever still. But, when so many of these piercing words, buzz and drone my mind, everlastingly, all of them seem to condense, congregate and mystifyingly form into three beautiful words which had destined a man’s future from times immemorial. From this broth of words, these three words seem to bloom out as a wreath of pearls, in utmost workmanship and perfection, those three words, those three eternal words, I Love You.

Just a nibble of the forbidden fruit;the first proposal that I had given in writing.

Ode to The Woman on the Judgment Day

A quiet monotonous journey,
As the eyes wander beyond the glassy doors,
Leaving the mind to its pointless, vast journey,
Of Luck, Life and Fates’ slippery toes.

Nothing to report,
Nothing unusual to see,
Nothing that hasn’t ever been thought before,
Nothing for the mind to flee.

Quiet and monotonous;
But behold
And then it happens,
The outburst of Activity,
The crazy, overpowering Emotions,
The fast, relentless and tensed Mind;

The Crave;
For coming a little too close,
For trying earnestly to throw out the words
That stuffs the throat; like a collapsed dam
Do try to gush out to please Desire.

For meeting of the four Eyes
In the unison of a brigade,
For trying to show off
A childish braggart look,
Trying to gain presence;
Looking at the watch, humming a tune
All the while as the eyes peep,
Through the mind’s facade.

And lastly;
For the overpowering wish to touch
To feel the worldly joys
The glory, the honour
To meet the zealous lust;
Just through the soft misty rub
Or even a light dash,
To feel the warmth of May
On skin as soft as a snowy crust.


The Thoughts;
Why, Why, Why the Frantic asks
Why is it so absurd?
Why does it seem so Alien now,
Knowing that it is The one?
Why to deceive the true borne feelings?
Why to let them perish in the bed?
Why to murder these mellifluous notes
With material thoughts, all numb and hard?
Why if Fortune gives me the catch
Miss it should I Must?

And…the Decision;
Hearing all, Conscience, calm and cool
As the placid and tranquil sea,
With eyes as watery as could be,
Replies; Through the pain and shattered wreck
Of the vestige that had once borne Me;
‘The child who wants to grab the moon
Seeing the bright colour into the night,
Try as it might, cannot get hold
Seems so sad, confused with fright;
Then, the wise mother replies,
It has its Heavenly place;
The joy in it, is the Trial to achieve
To pluck it from it’s enthroned peak,
That makes it fine, wondrous and bright;

“As the true Beauty yields
From the place where it reigns”’.

Written when I was first smitten in class 11;people whould have called her a PYT; but to me she was always the Woman